I think I've killed the Chinese population!

Well life has gone from great to slightly crap, to more crap, to absolute SHIT for me this year. One hell of a toller coaster emotionally & my weight has certainly sky rocketed to compensate. No point beating around the bush. I have been eating absolute shit at times, just to stop myself from smoking which, by the way, I gave up 6 years ago.
To paint the picture I will be totally honest with you all & start from the beginning (well, almost).
Almost 10 years ago I left my violent partner (and father of my 3 girls) for the LAST time. We left with my crappy Gemini sedan & the clothes on our backs. To this day I am still living in fear of this horrible, psychotic being.
Fast forward 15months & I go on a date with someone I met through a mutual friend. Lovely, hard working honest man. No strings (other than the ex neurotic/psychotic wif stalking me for some time after she realised I was with him). Two years later I find myself pregnant again (to him) & he proposes very romantically. A couple of months later we get married. Wedded bliss or so it seems! Our son is born. I weigh 122kgs. BIG MAMA!
I decided to join WW in October/November of 2003 when after our first family holiday to the Gold Coast I realise that fitting into certain rides was somewhat difficult. But, he loves me anyway. Such a wonderful man! He works 2 jobs so that I can be a full time man & I go to night school. Pass with disctinctions. Get a job a few months later in my ideal role. ex enters the scene again, wanting custody &/or access to our girls. OVER MY DEAD BODY!
On & off WW all this time, up & down with weightloss, but more down than up thankfully. November 2005. Husband's best friend's baby son is diagnosed with a brain tumour. Lots of time spent at RCH for them. Hubby offers to take mate on a trip to Melbourne in the truck to show him the route as hubby helping him to get some extra work to pay the mounting bills. Drving home from Melbourne to country VIC, husband has accident in the truck with best mate on board. Motorcyclist killed. Life turns upside down. Fast forward 12months. Out shopping with kids & hubby & he gets a phone call. Told he is being charged with culpable driving & dangerous driving causing death. Next couple of weeks, little boy with cancer passes away the day after the aniversary of the accident. Shit hits the fan. My wonderful darling husband is shell shocked AGAIN! Fast forward through the next couple of years & several trips to Melbourne for court hearings. Hubby pisses off to WA August 2007 to try & make some good money in case shit hits the fan & he goes to prison. After getting down to 83kgs my weight yo -yo's between 86kgs & 92kgs. Didn't turn out quite how we anticipated. Second eldest daughter starts to display major behavioural issues (was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder). After much pleading with Child & Adolescent Health Services, DHS & Berry Street for help & her finally trying to kill me with an iron bar, she was admitted to Foster Care. 6 weeks later hubby & I both lost our jobs on the same day, 3 weeks before Christmas. Poor, poor Christmas both financially & emotionally. Last 6 months have devoted lots of time to family in case of the inevitable - prison.
3 days before the trial is to commence I have to sit my final tertiary exams - can't concentrate but have not as yet heard that I have failed so hopefully that is a good sign! Husband found guilty of Dangerous Driving causing Death. All he did wrong - could not stop the truck in time (at 58kmh in an 80kmh zone) from crashing into a motorcyclist. Human error you may call it. Could have easily happened to me or to anyone. Unfortunately it happened to my beautiful husband. He was taken into custody & didn't even get to say goodbye to the kids. Never done a thing wrong in his life. In the last 2 months I gained 12kgs from pure emotional eating, after having risen to 90kgs. Needless to say when I hopped on the scales last week I was not surprised to see I had gained a lot of weight but was surprised I was over 100kgs again. I have struggled this week with emotions again. Just tonight my daughter in Foster Care rings me & states that she has been moved from her Foster Family's home & is living with abother carer as she was struggling with a male foster child. This being the same foster child that pushed her through a glass window a few months ago. Now I am worried about her again, more than ever. And I forgot to add that my mother & father in law, whom I PAY to pick my son up from school, decide that I will be able to manage fine on my own and piss off to visit my sister in law & her new husband (which none of us have ever met by the way) in WA 4 days before my husband goes to prison! Gee, thanks for the support guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, now that I have had my whinge I'll get off my soap box & although it IS difficult to cope day to day, the house is relatively clean, I manage to get to work & get the kids organised at 6am in the morning so that I can start work at 7 & we are all alive! We visit my husband once every weekend in prison. I miss him so much, & so do the kids.
So now that I have killed off the Chinese population with giving me my 10 years of bad luck, I think I will take one day at a time & try to take control of my life again, & my weight. Cos right now, it has control of me.
So if you think your life is SHIT it probably is, But you know what, even though I left out much more of my so-called bad luck, I can bet you that someone out there has had far worse luck than I ever will & are still managing to get on with their life. So, living by that motto of not letting life get the better of you, I will take a stranglelhold on my weight & by hell I will give it a great go to get to goal. And you know what, I don't care HOW long it takes me to get there (well, as long as I am at goal in the next 3 years so that I can be 40 & FAB!)
People go for goal! YOU CAN DO IT! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!